Do You Have A Work Husband?
If you don’t have a work husband, go get one. Seriously. (I guess I should say “work spouse” because mine is a girl, but, you get the idea.) Think about it, why do you find a spouse? You want someone to share your life with, and to support you through ups and downs. One of my favorite things about being married is being able to share, without judgement, my thoughts and feelings on just about anything. We love and accept each other and all the crazy ideas that come with us.
However…
My real husband does not give me what I need when it comes to work. Don’t get me wrong, I am so lucky have the most wonderful husband. He is extremely supportive of everything I do, and always tries to build me up. Teaching is a profession that is sort of an anomaly, though, in that while we all “know what teachers do,” we know very little about what teachers do.
Unless, of course, you are one. We need our own breed to communicate with each day in order to appropriately vent and express the craziness that is a school day.
Enter: the work husband.
Why You Need One
- If you are not a teacher, you don’t get it! We need someone who has knowledge of IEP’s, parent-teacher conferences, grading, differentiation, reading groups, curriculum, pacing guides, and every other detail of the teacher life so that when we tell you a story, we don’t have to preface it with 30 minutes of background info just to be met with a minimal reaction to a story that would stop another teacher in her/his tracks.
- We NEED to vent! It is the only way we can make it through some days. Also, for those days we have succeeded, even in the smallest of ways, nobody “gets it” better than another teacher.
- Appropriate Feedback. Yes, I know that you probably think I want to hear, “you’re a great teacher” every time I share something about my day, but that’s not what I need. I need realistic and useful feedback. Or I just need you to stare at me, mouth agape, at the ridiculous thing that just happened.
Qualities of a Perfect Work Husband
Opposites may attract, but, for your work husband, you need to find a colleague with similar interests. Look for someone with:
- A similar teaching style: if you are all about collaborative learning and they are all about lecture and note-taking, you two may not be a match made in heaven.
- Similar values: if you are a true teacher nerd and love all of the little details of planning a cute activity, your work spouse should at least appreciate that part of you, if not be just as over the top!
- Similar lifestyle outside of school: This is not imperative, because my work spouse has been teaching as long as I have been alive, but to find someone who is around the same phase of life makes for a work spouse who really gets it. When you’ve had a sleepless night with your teething baby, they’ll be there with a cup of coffee and an offer to take your class for a “group science review” so you can get yourself together.
How Will I Know When I’ve Found “The One?”
If you know when her resource times are without looking at the master schedule, can shoot her a look across the staff meeting and she knows what you’re thinking, and you text/call her more than your actual spouse, congratulations, you have found your work husband!
May you two have a happy career together 🙂
I think that applies to all types of work. Someone who is in the same field can relate better than your own spouse, & you don’t have to relay all the details for them to understand!